Incompetent

One of the scariest feeling is not knowing what the other person think about you especially when that someone is someone you really like. Lately i been hanging around with this girl and i might have feeling for her but there are other guys around her. Even though i feel like i spend the most time with her, I feel like she been secretly spending the same amount of time with the other guys without me knowing. I know she have the rights see other guys and spend time with them but the feeling of jealousy is not something you can just tell to go away. As i see other guys around her I'm starting to feel more and more incompetent. The feeling of not worthy for someone is scary. I know I shouldn't think that but its always in the back of my mind. Maybe, the other guys are way more better than me? Maybe, she doesn't feel the same way I feel about her? I know I can ask her and get the answer but finding out the truth can be scary and I don't want to jeopardize what we have right now... I guess for now I'm just going to pretend it doesn't bother me in front of her and hope everything will turn out okay.

Watching from afar

It has been two and a half years since I wrote my last post. I guess that is a good thing since there is not much troubling me. For the passed couple weeks, I felt that that "I've lost who I am, and I can't understand, why my heart is so broken." Maybe the reason why I'm feeling this is because I have been watching her from a distance. Whenever I see her, she always seem to be alone doing her own things and it made me a bit happy knowing that there is someone out there that is lonely like me. But when i tried to get to know her, I realized that she never felt that she was lonely. Maybe because she was so used to being alone doing her own things that she can't feel lonely anymore. After realizing that, I felt like a piece of my heart has been shattered. It made me think that maybe I am the only one that is alone in this world.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_LOOKssMpA